About Me
The Back Story
Six years ago, I found myself in a lawyers office, discussing my options as my 14 year relationship was coming to an end. To my horror, the lawyer was explaining to me that because I was not legally married, I had no entitlement to any property or assets under the law. I was dumbfounded. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. What was she talking about?! Everyone "knew" that you were considered common-law after living together for a certain time!
My ex and I had raised 4 kids together, I had worked outside of the home. Everything I did was for the benefit of our family. We had just never bothered "getting that piece of paper." Now, I was being told, at 45 years old that all I had done was invest in and enrich someone else's life!
Days later, when I picked myself up off the floor, I sought a second opinion, and a third...Being stubborn as i am, I did some research of my own. and found that there are some caveats to this. To be fair to that first lawyer, she did mention one of them in passing, but I didn't hear anything she said after telling me that I had just lived rent free for 14 years as far as Ontario law was concerned. She obviously also wasn't very interested in pursuing it. Every lawyer that I did speak to insisted that my case was complex and many were not willing to take it on. I was not willing to walk away.
There are several reasons for this, many I am sure are obvious to you. The biggest incentives, however were my four daughters. Their takeaway from this mattered! I was not going to let this leave them with the belief that the non-monetary contributions of a parent are of no value to a family. And so began my journey.
It took me four years and it certainly wasn't easy. I was having to navigate through the breakdown of the relationship and help my girls through it too. They were not taking it well. I had my own full-time career and I was half way through an accreditation. After depleting all of my financial resources on a lawyer, with no resolution in my case, I then found myself self-representing.
The judge that was assigned to our case initially also told me that as far as the law was concerned, I had lived rent free and that she did not believe that I would meet the criteria for any of the exceptions. In the end, I was successful in proving my claim and was awarded more than 3 times what she originally predicted the outcome might be,
During that 4 years though, I saw firsthand the pitfalls of our system. I learned a lot of valuable information that I wish I had known at the onset. Information that would have saved a great deal of time and a great deal of money, to say nothing of the undue stress.
Statistics show that between 60-80% of people end up representing themselves in Ontario Family Law cases.
If that is you, I am sorry. And, I want to help.
My Mission
To make my mess a message! I was successful in the end and YOU can be too!!
My background in insurance uniquely equipped me ,as I am accustomed to deciphering the legal jargon of lawyers. Not everyone has that same advantage.
I truly believe that my journey was for a purpose. My experience taught me so much about the flaws, inefficiencies and failures of our system. I feel compelled to educate and help others in their own situations and to organize to affect change.
How you can get involved
In addition to providing you tips on how to save time and money in your own case, I want to help people get actual justice.
It is very difficult to hold the legal system accountable, BUT, not impossible. There are , unfortunately many bad actors in our system. I have noticed in talking to others that alot of the same names come up over and over again as far as judges and lawyers not meeting their obligations.
Together, we can ensure that these people are held to account when their failings are more than just problems with the system itself, but instead due to their own bias, corruption, conduct,etc.
I invite you to share your story with me and to share this website with others.
Together, we can hold these people to acount and advocate for change.
Disclaimer
I am not a lawyer. I have no formal education in Ontario Law.
The information contained is based solely on my personal experience with the Family Law system in Ontario.
It is important to note that no two cases are the same. Results will vary based on the specific facts of each case, the competency of the lawyers or individuals involved, and are ultimately decided at the discretion of one individual.
Most Importantly
' I can do all thing through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13
Although I self-represented for the bulk of my case, I was never truly alone. Jesus walked with me every step of the way! It is HIS counsel that I relied upon above all else and the Victory was HIS.
There is no better coach and no better counsel than Jesus Christ. HE has the ultimate authority .
If you seek HIS guidance first and are obedient to HIS instruction, all will be well.
If you don't yet know HIM, my first piece of advice is to get to know HIM.
I have included a Daily Devotional section where you can get a dose of encouragement , wisdom and Truth.